Online Dating for Nerds - Volume 1: Don't be a Clone Trooper

Let's first check your profile nerdiness. Search for following keywords in your 2RedBeans profile: nerd, quiet, shy, introvert, stay home, computer, internet, ... or the Chinese translations of these. If you get 1 hit, please read on. If you get 2 or more hits, please print and stick this post on your refrigerator.

I am not a dating expert, but I do have interesting data from 2RedBeans, and data should sound more convincing to you if you have failed the nerd test. To measure your profile attractiveness (not your attractiveness), I looked at the number of messages or winks sent to you by a girl. On average, the score for a profile that passed the test is 4 times higher than a profile contains at least one of these keywords, meaning girls are 4 times more likely to talk to someone who doesn't seem like a nerd.

Why are girls staying away from these keywords like Superman sees kryptonite? Because there is this default profile of a Chinese guy who has a master or higher degree, an engineering background, and a job in a tech firm. It's like this:

1) Describe yourself.
I am a nerd and I am shy. I don't do well with strangers, but if you know me for a while, I can be totally different...and even funny.

2) What do you do at your leisure time?
I like to relax at home, surf the web.

3) Five things I can live without
Internet, iPhone, Macbook, Java, C++, friends, family, and of course, food, water, and air.

4) What's the craziest, wildest thing you have even done?
Not going to say it here.

5) Where is your dream vacation?
Server room.

I made up the last one, but you get the picture. Now, imagine you are a girl who see 50 of these default profiles a night. You get the picture too, right? I am not saying that you are not attractive in person. I know guys whose personality is much more colorful than what appears in their profile, and it is this difference (between the real-life version and online version of you) inspired me to write this post. Nor am I suggesting you change your personality, because pretending to be someone you are not is burdensome. But if you write a default profile, you just turned yourself into one of those clone troopers from Star Wars (no personality and all looked the same).

Tips on separating yourself from default profile
- Be funny. If you said you are funny after people know you, then turn the clock forward, and be funny now.
- Show something you have done that's unusual. You don't have to climb Himalayas or start 3 companies. Something like I competed in a hot dog eating contest will stand out.
- The craziest, the most secret, or the silliest things I would admit here question is your chance to shine. Answer it.
- Don't be afraid to create controversy, if it can spark discussions. I said I don't pick up calls in my profile, and at least 3 girls messaged me on that topic.

If you can take one thing from this post, write this down: the ultimate goal of writing a profile is to give girls an excuse to talk to you. Yes, girls do initiate first contact on 2RedBeans. Put one or two interesting things in your profile and see what happens.