If you don't ask, the answer is always no.

[Dating advice]

Valentine's day is coming up soon.  Do you have that special some one that you always wanted to ask out, but never did?  Now it is the time!  Go and Ask!

"If you don't ask, the answer is always no."  Things can only get better from here.  :)

Don't let your happiness slip through your fingers just because you are too shy.  Good luck!

Online Dating for Nerds - Volume 1: Don't be a Clone Trooper

Let's first check your profile nerdiness. Search for following keywords in your 2RedBeans profile: nerd, quiet, shy, introvert, stay home, computer, internet, ... or the Chinese translations of these. If you get 1 hit, please read on. If you get 2 or more hits, please print and stick this post on your refrigerator.

I am not a dating expert, but I do have interesting data from 2RedBeans, and data should sound more convincing to you if you have failed the nerd test. To measure your profile attractiveness (not your attractiveness), I looked at the number of messages or winks sent to you by a girl. On average, the score for a profile that passed the test is 4 times higher than a profile contains at least one of these keywords, meaning girls are 4 times more likely to talk to someone who doesn't seem like a nerd.

Why are girls staying away from these keywords like Superman sees kryptonite? Because there is this default profile of a Chinese guy who has a master or higher degree, an engineering background, and a job in a tech firm. It's like this:

1) Describe yourself.
I am a nerd and I am shy. I don't do well with strangers, but if you know me for a while, I can be totally different...and even funny.

2) What do you do at your leisure time?
I like to relax at home, surf the web.

3) Five things I can live without
Internet, iPhone, Macbook, Java, C++, friends, family, and of course, food, water, and air.

4) What's the craziest, wildest thing you have even done?
Not going to say it here.

5) Where is your dream vacation?
Server room.

I made up the last one, but you get the picture. Now, imagine you are a girl who see 50 of these default profiles a night. You get the picture too, right? I am not saying that you are not attractive in person. I know guys whose personality is much more colorful than what appears in their profile, and it is this difference (between the real-life version and online version of you) inspired me to write this post. Nor am I suggesting you change your personality, because pretending to be someone you are not is burdensome. But if you write a default profile, you just turned yourself into one of those clone troopers from Star Wars (no personality and all looked the same).

Tips on separating yourself from default profile
- Be funny. If you said you are funny after people know you, then turn the clock forward, and be funny now.
- Show something you have done that's unusual. You don't have to climb Himalayas or start 3 companies. Something like I competed in a hot dog eating contest will stand out.
- The craziest, the most secret, or the silliest things I would admit here question is your chance to shine. Answer it.
- Don't be afraid to create controversy, if it can spark discussions. I said I don't pick up calls in my profile, and at least 3 girls messaged me on that topic.

If you can take one thing from this post, write this down: the ultimate goal of writing a profile is to give girls an excuse to talk to you. Yes, girls do initiate first contact on 2RedBeans. Put one or two interesting things in your profile and see what happens.

Interracial marriages for Chinese and other Asian races. How often do they happen?

Interracial marriages are ubiquitous in the US. You might wonder how often it happens to Chinese and other Asian races? Here are the data.

89.5% Chinese men marry a Chinese woman v.s. 81.5% Chinese women marry a Chinese man.

Why is it that more Chinese women are married out of their own race than Chinese men? Off the top of my head, there are ...

1. It takes two to tango. While Chinese men find non-Chinese women physically attractive, when it comes to marriage, they find more desirable qualities in Chinese women.
2. In most cases, men are the pursuers. Chinese men in general are less aggressive compared with their non-Chinese competitors in the dating scene.
3. Not only Chinese women, but Asian women in general are in hot demand. When the rush comes, there got to be some casualties.

What's your thought on this? Leave us a comment.
Source: US census 2007男同胞们, 肥水不能外流。把自己的profile写好点，帖上帅哥照片， 显示下咱的魅力。

Where are the Chinese Singles in the Bay Area?

View Slideshow

Are there really more single man than women as most of us believe?  That depends on your definition.

This graph shows the number of Chinese singles in the Bay Area.  Color coded for singles.  (Green for go, and red for caution, hehe.... Other includes divorced, widowed, and seperated.).

• The numbers are a lot bigger than I had anticipated. 
• 70% of this population is first generation immigrants. 
• The demographic is concentrated at marriage age. 

Source: US census data 2007.

Sunday's singles' party!

星期天的旧金山细雨绵绵。。。多谢帅哥美女给我们的聚会带来的欢笑和光彩。

17 guys and 21 girls showed up despite the rain!  Woohoo!!!

(26 guys and 25 girls signed up.  This shows how women are more commited to things they promised than guys.  :P)

Next event:  01/30/2011.  A sassy dating coach coming in to satiate your curiocity on anything dating related.

After party survey results:

• 60% people want to use 2RedBeans 暗恋 (secretly admire) function to connect mutually interested pairs.  [Note to girls: You should use this to encourge guys.  It takes lots of courage for them to ask you out.  :-)]
• More than 50% of people think we need more games, and more talk time.  
• 30% people would like to have a forum to facilitate after event communication
• 30% people would like to restrict attendees to only people who have pictures
• 60% people felt that they are more confident communicating with the opposite gender.

We got many great suggestions for our next event and the website as well.  Thank you guys so much!

Where to meet quality singles?

We run into quality singles every time we leave the house.  Most people are not aware enough to realize this.  You meet people in a grocery shop, a library, a bookstore, a gym, a party at a friend's place, or even while waiting for a table at a restaurant.   Yes, true.  These are strangers, but they don't have to be. 

The key is in yourself:
- Be aware of the surroundings.  
- Look at people around you, smile at them, wonder what kind of persons they might be. 

So next time when you go grocery shopping, don't just stare at the melons, or whatever you fancy, entertain yourself with people around you.  See whether anyone catches your eyes.  Little by little, this will become your second nature.  You'll start to see many suitable people everywhere you go.   As for thow to start a conversation, that's a whole new story.  hehe...  But don't worry, we'll cover that in a later post.

One more tip for girls:  Make yourself approachable!  
Do you know how intimidating it is for a guy to walk over and start talking to you.  If you appear to be in a hurry, busy talking to your girlfriend, or so in love with the bukchoy on the shelf, he is not going to make his move.  So, be available and be friendly to everyone.  Smile!  And be encouraging!  When he does come over to talk to you, be nice and graceful.  You just won someone's admiration.  :)

Oh, look, there are only 2 boxes of ice cream left!  Time to do some shopping.  :P